Vulnerability: the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
"Being vulnerable is a risk we have to take to experience connection."
- Brené Brown
Just want to say that a lot of the things that inspired me to be a good person are on the internet somewhere or in a book. Finding things that teach me something about people is like a educational porn to me. It turn my awareness on. Stay woke!
I felt like this topic was important to cover early on because this is the biggest thing I struggle with and I got a few comments from people telling me they understand this feeling of not wanting to be vulnerable. I have always had a problem with letting my guard down and here I am posting my most personal issues to strangers on the internet. Pretty ironic. So this lady talks about the difference between people who feel love and belonging and those who feel disconnected to the world and the only difference was that the people who felt love and belonging believed they deserved to feel that way. Basically people who feel connected feel like they deserve connection. So I'm just going to say this right now: YOU DESERVE TO FEEL CONNECTION. YOU DESERVE TO FEEL LOVE.
I get it though. When you think about being vulnerable, you think about that first time someone broke your heart. You think about that first time you told your parents something important to you and they didn't listen. You think about the first time you told your friends something serious about what was going on at home and they continued their conversation about the party they were going to go to or laughed and said "yeah same!" That shit hurts man. It hurts to be open about your feelings and to not have anyone understand or even listen to the way you feel. I remember being in the 7th grade and telling my best friend about my situation at home and having her tell me "So you think you'll be able to go to the movies this weekend?" Like damn dude. "Yeah. I think I can make it." and all those feelings and thoughts you wanted to express have to be pushed to the side because it's more important to think about your popularity and the way you'll come off to other people. I'm telling you now though, fuck that. Forget about how people will respond to you expressing yourself. Do that shit anyways! Tell people how you feel! Do what you want without fear. Odds are someone out there is going to ignore you or not like what they hear or judge you but guess what? It's your world. The only thing that matters in your life is what YOU do. Everyone is going to live their life and have a different perspective on things than you but that doesn't mean that you should let fear stop you from living your life to the fullest. Yes, theres a chance you'll be rejected but how long will that hurt you if your real goal was just to let it out? Basically go into these situations, like a risk of getting your heart broken, knowing that anything is possible but not letting it stop you from trying to reach your goals anyways. And let me just point out the fact that if you ever express yourself to someone and notice they aren't responding the way you wanted.. it's probably a good sign that that person wasn't ready for you not the other way around.
So this is all words and maybe they mean something to you, maybe they don't but let me just tell you a few things that I remind myself when letting myself be vulnerable:
I get it though. When you think about being vulnerable, you think about that first time someone broke your heart. You think about that first time you told your parents something important to you and they didn't listen. You think about the first time you told your friends something serious about what was going on at home and they continued their conversation about the party they were going to go to or laughed and said "yeah same!" That shit hurts man. It hurts to be open about your feelings and to not have anyone understand or even listen to the way you feel. I remember being in the 7th grade and telling my best friend about my situation at home and having her tell me "So you think you'll be able to go to the movies this weekend?" Like damn dude. "Yeah. I think I can make it." and all those feelings and thoughts you wanted to express have to be pushed to the side because it's more important to think about your popularity and the way you'll come off to other people. I'm telling you now though, fuck that. Forget about how people will respond to you expressing yourself. Do that shit anyways! Tell people how you feel! Do what you want without fear. Odds are someone out there is going to ignore you or not like what they hear or judge you but guess what? It's your world. The only thing that matters in your life is what YOU do. Everyone is going to live their life and have a different perspective on things than you but that doesn't mean that you should let fear stop you from living your life to the fullest. Yes, theres a chance you'll be rejected but how long will that hurt you if your real goal was just to let it out? Basically go into these situations, like a risk of getting your heart broken, knowing that anything is possible but not letting it stop you from trying to reach your goals anyways. And let me just point out the fact that if you ever express yourself to someone and notice they aren't responding the way you wanted.. it's probably a good sign that that person wasn't ready for you not the other way around.
So this is all words and maybe they mean something to you, maybe they don't but let me just tell you a few things that I remind myself when letting myself be vulnerable:
- Stop caring about what anyone will think of you
- It's okay to feel
- This won't be easy but it'll be worth it
- You're human too
- Let it go
- BE FEARLESS!
Remember I'm literally in the same situation you're probably feeling right now if you're thinking "Ugh, I don't want people to think I'm soft." But guess what?! I'm doing this. I'm telling you guys all this stuff so that we can connect. I want you to know that I'm in the exact same boat you are and am super scared of what will happen when I let myself be more open. When it really comes down to it though I know I deserve to feel connected to you guys and I know the only way I can do that is by putting myself out there first. I hope you guys do to!
peace and love,
Jaz
p.s. if you ever want to let out da feels and don't necessarily want to put yourself out there too much yet. Send me a DM, I will gladly listen to all ya feels without judgement and maybe help you feel more confident about knocking those walls down. Remember this is a chance for me to be vulnerable too so I will be real honest about my feels too.
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